What is my responsibility - To you?

In last week’s blog I looked at value for money, but what do you actually get from me? I hear lots of people saying, “I don’t take responsibility for whether the client changes or not”. To some extent I agree, I mean I can’t make anyone change if they aren’t ready or don’t want to. However, the statement itself seems rather glib.  I do consider that I have a part to play.  After all, if I go to my doctor (mmm, perhaps best not to get me started on that) and I have a problem and I am doing all the right things and taking responsibility, yet not seeing an improvement, I want them to be able to assist me in ways that I may not be able to.  I want them to consider things from a different angle perhaps, to probe and delve to get to the real issue. I don’t consider my role to be any different.  To enable you to achieve the things you want this is what I do:

I research, a lot.  This means that I can give you more information than just the skills I have gained through NLP. I don’t just research articles about depression or other mental health issues. I look at all the factors that could contribute to your issue, whether that be nutrition, lack of sleep, lifestyle choices or particular situations that might have an impact. I listen to podcasts so that I can hear from the experts’ mouths, how I might be able to help my clients improve their lives and I devour books so that I might do the same. This, I believe, provides a holistic approach for my clients. Every angle is examined and, in some cases, challenged to help changes occur. I don’t take things at face value.  For example, one person might suggest a plant-based diet is the best approach for health, while another might suggest a balance of meat, fish and plants.  Each person is unique so it is important to consider what is best for each of us.

I continue my training, in order that I can hold the best connection possible with you and elicit appropriate information.   Someone told me a few months ago that someone they knew had set themselves up in business as a coach, after attending a 2-day course using a Groupon Voucher and was wondering if they could start charging £100 per hour.  That just makes me cross, not just because my training costs thousands and took 2 years with hundreds of hours of practice coaching undertaken, but because that does not serve clients with their best interests at heart.  I’m amazed that no one asks to see my qualifications, but they are available, and also visible if we are working in person.  If you are worried about someone’s provenance, ask to see their qualifications, and look them up.

I practice what I preach.  I seek help from other people, such as fellow coaches, friends, my partner or I talk to myself (weird right, doesn’t everyone? ) to see things from a different perspective.  I have recovered from depression, so I have walked that lonely road.  I believe that many of us don’t have to stay in that stark and gloomy place and can get out, but it takes time, determination and curiosity into the art of the possible. If I face an issue, I look at it from different angles and wonder how I can overcome it. If I can’t see an obvious way, I ask others for their opinion. What I don’t do is do nothing. I mean, imagine going to the gym (well at the moment you’d be battling to find space) and signing up with a Physical Trainer.  You don’t want someone overweight and puffing with modest activity, do you?  No, of course not.  You want someone who serves as an inspiration.  Someone you aspire to be more life who acts as a motivator. So I aim to be that or do that for my clients. I am enthusiastic. I use all of my skills. 

I make sure I am in the right space. We are all human.  We get sick, we have a bad night’s sleep, we have problems. I don’t coach when I feel like this, I postpone until I am in a better place.  It’s not fair on my clients.  As I said on one of my posts, I don’t give you less of a service because you are paying less than perhaps you would do other coaches. You get my full attention, end of.

I’m honest.  If I don’t think we have good rapport or consider we maybe aren’t the best fit and that you would be better spending your money on another form of therapy instead, I will tell you. Fundamentally, I want you to get better or smash your goals or objectives or overcome your fears. You won’t do that if we are not aligned and you don’t believe in the work we do.

Oh!  And on top of all that I elicit information that you appeared to have forgotten, challenge you to think differently or more deeply, sometimes when you least want to.  I do all of that with empathy and understanding, recognising when something is too raw to deal with at that moment in time.

So, what do you get?  Quite a lot I’d say, but overall, authenticity.  What you see, is what you get.  I’m no Charlatan.  

What Am I Worth - To you?

I was chatting to someone yesterday who was talking about how much other coaches charge, some £5000-20,000 a DAY!!!!  I guess, depending on how much money you want to make, a couple of clients a year would keep most people happy but £20K a day?  As the client, I’d be looking for a hell of a return on investment!

Last year I bought myself a pair of Louboutins, my first (and only) pair of designer shoes.  Ever since I watched The Devil Wears Prada, I’ve been fascinated by the red flash on the sole. They ooze sassiness and chic.  I adore them, but what have they got to do with coaching I hear you ask?

Well, after I wore them out for the first time, the sole was scratched and I was a bit miffed, having spent a fair bit of my hard-earned cash on them; to me now, they were spoiled. They were now resembling a black pair of patent shoes that had cost £30 instead. A friend recommended Payne Footwear (https://www.hepaynefootwear.co.uk) for a more permanent solution (sol-ution, get it?  OK, soz, I know, that was bad ). I was reading through their blurb and saw this, “We do not charge more for a repair simply because the item has a higher price tag. The same level of care, dedication, time and quality will be given to every repair brought into us.”

I fell in love with them immediately, because that’s my exact approach to coaching.  I slashed my prices during the pandemic and gave some coaching for free. Not because I felt I wasn’t worth it, in fact, it was the exact opposite.  I have a fundamental desire to help people and was very conscious and grateful that I had still been able to work in lockdown; many people had lost their jobs or businesses during the pandemic and were struggling.  I considered it a way of giving back.  

I am lucky, or you could say I have made my luck.  It hasn’t always been that way. I’ve worked hard since the age of 14 and have often been in despair over the lack of funds in my bank account, which was sometimes in the red and sometimes hovering around zero. However, that hard work has paid off and I no longer worry about whether I can afford to pay my electric or gas bill, or, how I can make a chicken and veg from the market last a week for food. Charity shops were my friend as I prioritised funds to clothe my kids. I can remember what it’s like to struggle, the constant overwhelming pressure and worry of losing our home, or my job.  I was too proud to tell people that I needed help and there was no way that I could afford coaching at that time. 

I think it’s sad that we now live in a society where we believe that we have to pay small fortune to receive something of superior quality. I find it greedy, but maybe that’s just my values kicking in. I made the exception for the Louboutins’ because they evoked a feeling in me that had nothing to do with the price, however, after that one outing they were renegaded to fall in line with the other high street shoes and left me feeling disappointed. 

I don’t intend to suddenly dramatically increase my prices, despite others saying I’m ‘charging too little’, or, ‘if someone thinks you are worth it, they will pay’. I don’t care whether you have £10 or £1M, just like the shoe company, the level of service I give you will be the same. I don’t give less of myself to you because you are paying me less. To me, you are a human being first and my intent is to help those in need; those who can’t always access coaching services because it is seen as an elitist service and out of their league.